Saturday, May 21, 2011


Q:  How do you convince two shoats to squeeze back through the impossibly small hole in the fence through which they managed to escape just this morning, after spending an apparently delightful wriggly tailed day of romping with horses (and by some miracle not managing to get stomped), seeing the sights, evading coyotes, badgering chickens, and munching what little green stuff there is available in this drought?

A:  You make high pitched scary sounds and raise both hands, just slightly above your head, wriggling your fingers wildly, in imitation of a pig eating monster.  Which sends both little swine—who are not yet old enough to turn around and snort in uproarious indignation at just how lame you really are—trumpeting in porcine terror, wriggling straight back through that same unbelievably narrow hole to their 600-pound momma who is anxiously awaiting their return on the other side.

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